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2000-08-02
13:21:59
the reality of having quit my job hit me in the middle of the night like most of my horrible realizations do. i'm considering going to my boss to beg for my job back, but i'm too much of a coward. i can't face that office again. everyone knows i quit, and everyone knows i haven't been myself for weeks. i can't imagine what they're thinking about me. they probably think i'm having a mid-life crisis or something. i wish it was that simple.
i still haven't heard from jess. Lord knows where she went. maybe she's with her mother or her sister or someone else who loves her unconditionally. she's so fucking lucky to have so many people who love her no matter what. i don't even have so much as a friend to confide in.
what does she expect me to do? is there anything i can do to correct this? i doubt it. every time i try to fix something, something else goes wrong.
luckily, i'm not exactly strapped for cash, so there's at least one thing in my favor. i've been saving money for a rainy day for a long time now. i just chuckled at the thought of that money going to use for the rainy day that ruined my life. perhaps my mood about the situation is lightening. maybe this will all blow over.
