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2000-10-11
15:35:23
kat came back yesterday. i was at work, and she just showed up and ordered a drink like nothing was wrong. i asked her where she had been, and she said she'd had to leave town to go visit her parents. apparently, her father isn't in very good health right now, and her mother asked her to come home for a visit because she doesn't think he'll last very much longer.
i'm not sure what to think. i can't very well blame kat for not telling me where she was going. these things happen. Lord knows i've been hit by some of those bombs that life throws out at you. she, by all means, should have been there to support her parents in their time of need.
it strikes me as interesting that the same event in two people's lives will affect them entirely differently. i mean, here i've been for about two weeks, trying to find the strength to drag myself out of bed and awaken from yet another drunken sleep and avoid another terrible hangover, wondering where the hell kat's been and what i did to offend her. meanwhile, she was home visiting her parents, completely unaware that i might even be thinking of her.
i think i probably put too much faith in kat. at least, i put too much emotion into a relationship with her, when she wasn't even acknowledging that we had a relationship.
she's back now and i'm overjoyed to see her, but i somehow feel a lump in the back of my throat that's telling me not to get too close to her.
why?
