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2000-07-26
17:08:13
this isn't helping anymore. things have taken a significant turn for the worse. jess is never going to trust me again. we're separated for the most part. i don't know what to do. i'm sleeping on the couch, but that's only when she lets me in. i'm surprised she hasn't changed the locks on me yet.
my sleep is getting more and more interrupted by horrible nightmares, and my days are becoming more and more like my sleep. i'm plagued by constant reminders of the horror of my human nature. i keep nearly passing out on the street because the blackness of sleep descends upon me when i am least expecting it.
i've never had such a miserable week in my life. even when things have been bad before, i always had jess. i can't even lean on her now. who's supposed to tell me everything's going to be okay if not myself or my wife? i've given up on trying to find someone to help me. i've given up on relying on myself. i'm almost ready to give up on life.
